How Your Personality Type Deals With Setbacks (and the Flowers That Can Help)

Setbacks. We all have 'em. Some of us cry into a pint of ice cream, others go full drill sergeant on themselves, and a select few pretend nothing happened and book a spontaneous trip to Bali. (We see you, Enneagram 7s.)

But what if I told you that your personality type has a default coping mechanism when things go sideways? And better yet—there’s a flower essence that can help you handle it with grace, resilience, and way less stress eating.

Here’s how different personality types handle setbacks—and the essences that can get you back on track. Find yourself in this list? (Don’t worry, I won’t tell.)

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The Perfectionist (Enneagram 1, INTJ, ISTJ)

• Setback Style: Self-criticism on steroids. You’ll push harder, set impossible standards, and grind yourself into exhaustion.
• Flower Fix: Hyssop (for letting go of self-judgment), Bistort (for facing tough tasks with clarity), Filaree (for loosening perfectionism and shifting Focus to what truly matters), Skullcap (for easing self-imposed pressure and allowing flexibility).

The People-Pleaser (Enneagram 2, ESFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ)

• Setback Style: Takes failure personally, overcompensates by helping everyone else, and panics at the thought of disappointing people.
• Flower Fix: Chicory (for healthy emotional boundaries), Pink Yarrow (to stop absorbing others' stress), Plumbago (for breaking free from guilt, obligation, and self-doubt).

The Overachiever (Enneagram 3, ENTJ, ESTJ, ENFJ)

• Setback Style: If you’re not winning, what’s the point? You’ll double down, push even harder, and ignore emotions completely.
• Flower Fix: Fireweed (to bounce back from burnout), Dandelion (to release tension), Bistort (so you actually work smarter, not harder), Solomon’s Seal (for learning from setbacks and adapting instead of forcing control).

The Deep Feeler (Enneagram 4, INFJ, ISFP, ENFP)

• Setback Style: Feels personally cursed by the universe, romanticizes struggle, and drowns in emotions instead of taking action.
• Flower Fix: Bleeding Heart (for emotional release), Borage (for resilience), Gaillardia (for inner strength), Horseradish (for pushing through emotional stagnation and reclaiming personal power).

The Overthinker (Enneagram 5, INTP, ISTP, ENTP)

• Setback Style: Retreats into their mind, overanalyzes until they’re paralyzed, and refuses to acknowledge emotions.
• Flower Fix: Habanero (for clearing mental fog), White Chestnut (for quieting repetitive thoughts and mental overactivity), Mullein (for strengthening inner wisdom and clarity), Plumbago (to restore trust in your own judgment and intuition).

The Worrier (Enneagram 6, ISFJ, ESFJ)

• Setback Style: Assumes the worst, catastrophizes, and looks for someone to confirm they’re not doomed.
• Flower Fix: Black Currant (for reducing fear-based thinking), White Chestnut (for quieting repetitive thoughts), Lettuce (for deep nervous system relaxation), Solomon’s Seal (for letting go of anxiety and trusting the process), Plumbago (for overcoming self-doubt).

The Escape Artist (Enneagram 7, ENFP, ESFP)

• Setback Style: Distracts self with shiny new things, refuses to acknowledge problems, and over-schedules life to avoid discomfort.
• Flower Fix: Blackberry (for finishing what you start), Lovage (for motivation), Bee Balm (for passion without burnout), Blue Vervain (for grounding scattered energy), Dandelion (for releasing tension), Bat-Faced Cuphea (for staying focused on long-term goals).

The Control Freak (Enneagram 8, ENTJ, ESTP, ISTP)

• Setback Style: Gets aggressive, refuses to show weakness, and forces a solution instead of processing what happened.
• Flower Fix: Sweet Cherry (for softening the heart), Horseradish (to shift out of power struggles), Golden Yarrow (for strength without walls), Solomon’s Seal (for accepting what’s outside your control), Filaree (for letting go of control).

The Avoider (Enneagram 9, INFP, INFJ)

• Setback Style: Shuts down, procrastinates, and avoids confrontation at all costs.
• Flower Fix: Tansy (for overcoming procrastination), Fireweed (for rebuilding after a setback), Goldenrod (for inner conviction), Plumbago (for trusting your own judgment).

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You might relate to just one of these—or a whole chaotic cocktail of them. Either way, flower essences can support your natural strengths while helping you break patterns that aren’t serving you.

Want to try the right essence for your type? Find yourself in the sections above and choose a flower or a bouquet of them that make sense for you!