June 23, 2017

Exit Wounds: Healing After Communal Rejection

I often have songs stuck in my head that are more significant than just ear worms. If it seems random and not something I just heard, I pay attention and look for a deeper meaning. Yesterday I had one that seemed to indicate some generational junk in my family line that I was darn proud of. It was the chorus of Family Tradition by Hank Williams Jr. I just couldn't figure out what it pertained to...

After googling the whole lyric, and taking an embarrassingly long time to understand that "getting stoned" as it relates to me is not about smoking pot but religious persecution, the light came on. I come from a long line of people who are a bit anti-establishment in terms of their spirituality. To my knowledge none of what any of us did was bad, but there have to be some pretty engrained wound patterns based on the exiles, excommunications, expulsions and exclusions. We seem to be magnets for more of the same.

Eleven Grandma's ago, mine got in trouble for preaching grace before it was cool. It was heresy then, and women couldn't speak let alone preach. She wound up with such a following that she almost destroyed the Puritan community. Banished.

Another ancestor founded the first Baptist church here, two weeks later decided that organized religion was a farce, got run out of the state for spreading "new and dangerous ideas" and went to live with the Indians. I remember discovering all this with my sister, we looked at each other and I said "No wonder we can't seem to stay in a church!" In other words, if we get stoned we're just carrying on an old family tradition.

On down the family line, I don't know where everyone was spiritually. If they had similar troubles, they didn't create enough of a country-wide uproar to be famous for it. But I can see it in attitudes of living relatives.

And me? You don't need all the gory details. But yeah, I might be a little proud to be from a long line of boat rockers. And I don't believe that I'm supposed to heal up and go fit into church, mind my p's and q's and quietly fade into the pews somewhere. God's been pretty clear with me that I'm good where I'm at. I've spent enough time feeling bad about this.

So what am I supposed to do for a generational stronghold? Repent right? I'm not sorry. It'd be a lie. I don't want to be in anybody's club, I don't want to be a part of any organization, if there's a name on the door I'm not going in, you can't make me belong and I won't compromise to fit.

So, repentance is not getting touched with a 10 foot pole, but hefty doses of forgiveness are in order, and even the way I do that is heretical. And, I can do flower essences, and in the process of healing, if I find my way to a genuine heart change towards the organizations, so be it.

I discussed all this with a friend who teaches classes on generational healing, who pointed out that this root might be behind every instance of relationship issues I have. It's why I have trouble in corporate worship, go rogue in group spirit travel or even expect rejection in one on one friendships. In other words, this is major, and probably affecting every facet of my life.

There is potentially something else going on here unless this just natural consequence of us being us, or that we attract what we expect. When Cain was exiled, God put a mark on him so that he couldn't be harmed. There is a counterfeit version of that which draws abusers toward you. It's like a cosmic kick me sign. I wasn't very old when I had my first run in with church authority. When you see patterns like this, it's a red flag although I'm not sure that's what I'm dealing with. I'm asking. I'm also asking for a "no harm" mark for my post exile.

The Flower Fixes

It comes back around to Malva flower essence, for breaking patterns of rejection. Malva aids in stopping the cycles of rejection. For many of us life is always about what we perceive things to be and not what they necessarily are in reality. An initial trauma of rejection can sensitize a person to further perceived "slights" any time another falls short of what is expected in the relationship. This can cause distancing, "I'll leave so you can't hurt me." or hostility which prompts those they are in relationship with to also become defensive and withdraw. The cycle completes with the person feeling justified in their initial perception. Malva helps to desensitize, soothe and unravel the reinforced patterning. Stopping the rejection cycle is the only way to obtain what's needed through relationships. Malva prompts the bravery needed to stay and experience the reality that's beyond the initial perception, and melt away the feelings of paranoia and not being loved.

Bull Thistle is a possibility. It's for issues with structure or authority. Classic teenage rebellion remedy. I'm not anti-authoritarian, but might have a big ol guard up about being controlled, or told what to think.

Sweet Pea has been coming up an abnormal amount lately as I work with other people who don't fit in. Sweet Pea helps the wanderers though. The ones trying to find home and family. I've stopped looking for a club to join. I don't think Sweet Pea is it for me.

Canada Thistle is indicated anytime your view of community has been negative. It helps those who feel misunderstood, persecuted, betrayed. It softens hardened beliefs and protective attitudes that prevent you from settling into a community. That's definitely me.

Sweet Cherry is a favorite that I always come back to when I start getting walls up. It's very multi-purpose, and works on fear and anger.

I can also do some Japanese Knotweed when I do venture into corporate settings because it helps create unity without feeling like I'm losing my individuality.

The 528 Creative DNA essence helps with the generational engrained patterns as well.

I can help you out more easily than I can myself. We can work out a custom combo, or you might look at Heart Healer to see if that has your exit wounds covered well enough.

All of this came unearthed from a song in my head. I wrote about this method of hearing God in my friend Praying Medic's book, God Speaks. You can pick it up here if you're interested in the many facets of how God can get a point across.

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